Playgroup SA’s Top 5 Tips for Surviving Challenging Behaviour at Playgroup
Tuesday, July 10, 2018
Children are toddlers for such a short period of time, so try to remember that all behaviour is communication. Ask yourself ‘What is the behaviour telling me?’ Enjoy this time with your toddler and embrace the challenges with a fresh perspective of learning opportunities.
1 Playgroup-aged children are all at different stages of development and have varying needs. Behaviour, challenging or otherwise, is often a form of communication – so before reacting, ask yourself ‘What is this child trying to tell me?’ More often than not, the child isn’t seeking attention. For example, a child who bites may be trying to tell you that they are either frightened and threatened, teething, want their toy back, hungry, in need of the toilet or even exhausted and needing a cuddle and a rest. A great way to determine what the child is trying to tell you is by making note of what was happening before the event.
2 Don’t assume that a child’s behaviour is a reflection of poor parenting. Many factors contribute to children’s behaviour. As parents and carers we spend so much time worrying about if we’re doing a good job raising our children – we certainly don’t need others doing it for us too! Playgroup is a safe space for parents and carers and their children, a place without judgment or criticism. Support your fellow Playgroup families by acknowledging that all children have ‘those days’. Create an environment of patience, acceptance and understanding.
3 Model positive parenting and language. The most developmentally appropriate way to speak with toddlers is to use short, concise, clear and positive messages. Focus on what you want your child to do. For example, if a child is climbing the furniture try, ‘Feet on the ground’ using a calm and encouraging tone. If the child persists in climbing the furniture, they are telling you that they are possibly in an experimental stage of development and basically want to climb and need equipment that better suits their needs, such as a climbing frame. Perhaps go outside and seek a low-lying wall, or even the sandpit barrier, and practice climbing with your toddler. Suggest to the Playgroup Leader that a climbing frame would be a good piece of equipment to purchase for the next fundraiser. (Try to avoid being frustrated with your toddler, because they are doing exactly what they need to in order to meet a stage of their development).
4 Ensure there is a regular and flexible routine at Playgroup. Children and adults respond best when they know what is going to happen and what the expectations are. Children find the use of a flexible routine to be very reassuring – it promotes a sense of security for them. Making the Playgroup routine visible for everyone to see is a good idea.
5 Give positive alternatives to toddlers. This helps with redirecting play to another space of intrigue. Do this before the toddler cracks under the pressure of sharing or frustration. Knowing when to step into toddler play to offer a distraction is a skill all parents and carers should master. For example, if the toddler is in the home corner with another toddler and you can see some nudging and back-turning happening, step into the play with another object for distraction or talk about the play dough across the room. Try ‘Look in the sandpit, I can see a big yellow digger, what can you see?’
Use positive alternatives to ‘NO!’ Give simple explanations to toddlers about why they can or cannot do something. If, for example, a toddler is in the sandpit and is throwing sand in the air and getting it in other children’s eyes, a positive alternative to ‘NO’ is ‘Sand is not for throwing, sand is for digging and making sandcastles.’
Children are toddlers for such a short period of time, so try to remember that all behaviour is communication. Ask yourself ‘What is the behaviour telling me?’ Enjoy this time with your toddler and embrace the challenges with a fresh perspective of learning opportunities.
Attending Playgroup is an ideal environment for toddlers to master many skills, including social, emotional and cognitive development, fine and gross motor movement, turn taking, language development, friendships and the familiarity of other adults and children. Playgroup emphasises all these developmental learning areas through play, with lots of fun and interactive activities involving teamwork, problem-solving and messy sensory play for everyone.
Understanding Toddlers:
- Toddlers have a keen desire for independence.
- Toddlers are highly egocentric.
- Toddlers need routine.
- Toddlers are experiencing the emergence of their incredible imaginations.
- Toddlers are experiencing a critical time for acquiring and developing language.
- Remember, a child’s physical, emotional and social development and relationship with the environment are all contributing factors to their behaviour.
Source: Top Tips for Surviving Challenging Behaviour at Playgroup, by Amanda Baldwin.